So I keep working on this yelling thing and I start to get a hold on it and then I slack and I'm back to the old habits. I told a friend the other day, "I'm yelling and saying critical things to my kids and at the same time my inner dialoge is already telling me to stop talking and that I'm so silly for yelling." I'm the master at threats too and that one has got to stop as well. Neither really work and as Joe very tactfully declared "the kids aren't trusting you'll do what you say you'll do."
So I was depressed yesterday and thinking here we go again then last night as I was yelling at Aspen she ask the questions "Why do you have to be so mean?" Why.. really..that's a good point...I don't really know why. I'm a bit of a control freak I've decided at least with my kids. So today I tried to be less mean and this is going to be my new gas for a while to get me moving in the right direction again.
Children are amazing. In the last year Jeff gave me some great advice when I was seaking suggestions on what to do about the negative behavior of my kids. He said "mom, focus on the possitive not the negative." Something I've said a bunch of times but was failing to live by. A much needed reminder and return of where my focus should be. He also said on another occasion "instead of punishing us reward us for good behavior." Now that one, was all him and I was pretty impressed. I don't know how much I'd learn if I just took the time to listen even half the time my kids are talking but I imagine it would be a shock to discover! So I'm off to bed to wake up to another day of being nice instead of mean!!!Wahoo to life and moving forward!!!
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Julia-
ReplyDeleteI just have to say that you are such a great mom!!! You are always recognizing what you need to change and working to be better. I think the fact that you are always trying to improve your mom technique makes you better than a lot of moms. I've learned a ton from watching how you parent and I think that you do a great job!!