"Why do you have to be so Mean"

So I keep working on this yelling thing and I start to get a hold on it and then I slack and I'm back to the old habits. I told a friend the other day, "I'm yelling and saying critical things to my kids and at the same time my inner dialoge is already telling me to stop talking and that I'm so silly for yelling." I'm the master at threats too and that one has got to stop as well. Neither really work and as Joe very tactfully declared "the kids aren't trusting you'll do what you say you'll do."
So I was depressed yesterday and thinking here we go again then last night as I was yelling at Aspen she ask the questions "Why do you have to be so mean?" Why.. really..that's a good point...I don't really know why. I'm a bit of a control freak I've decided at least with my kids. So today I tried to be less mean and this is going to be my new gas for a while to get me moving in the right direction again.
Children are amazing. In the last year Jeff gave me some great advice when I was seaking suggestions on what to do about the negative behavior of my kids. He said "mom, focus on the possitive not the negative." Something I've said a bunch of times but was failing to live by. A much needed reminder and return of where my focus should be. He also said on another occasion "instead of punishing us reward us for good behavior." Now that one, was all him and I was pretty impressed. I don't know how much I'd learn if I just took the time to listen even half the time my kids are talking but I imagine it would be a shock to discover! So I'm off to bed to wake up to another day of being nice instead of mean!!!Wahoo to life and moving forward!!!

Gabriel had a sliver I couldn't get out. He said "here give it to me" refering to the pin...next thing I know he's showing me the sliver on the end of the pin. This the Gabriel who's most used phrase is "I can't do it" I love it... he's becoming so independent all of a sudden.

very quick blog...

so the kids have monday off and are settling in for a late night eating popcorn and watching veggie tales...they are making popcorn as we speak. Before they come back I wanted to just report two very cute quotes from Jeff then Aspen...We spent the night with Grandma Jeffery Friday to Saturday. She has a king size bed in the only upstairs spare bedroom. I choose that room for the girls and I and was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. The boys had gone downstairs to find a bedroom to sleep in. I went to go to bed and on one pillow was Jeffery and Gabriel. I asked them what was up and Jeff's response was so matter of fact,with a sense that he knew he was being comical...he said "I have measured the bed and we have enough room for all of us", all 5 of us. I couldn't resist this rare chance to sleep with all my kids.. however he and Gabe later ended up on the floor because it got too hot.
Now for Aspen...after telling her we could have popcorn with the movie she jumped up and down and said thank you thank you thank you...in bowing jumping motion...wow I love gratitude for simple things...
Got to go the kid are ready.

Wow I'm not a very diligent blogger, hats off to all who are...OK so we love our new house, neighbors and area. The home repair jobs are going much slower than we hoped they would but they are still moving reasonably quick. Joe is back in school working on his Master in IS Systems at the U so the fix ups are at a stop for a while. He is stressed out but is learning to manage his load well.
I've not been at a stop. I keep unloading the boxes in the garage in hopes I can park my car in there someday soon. I hurt my wrist so I've been forces to slow down a little and not carry heavy things, irritating really. I decide I need to treat my body better if it's falling apart at only 35 yrs old so I started exercising and eating a little better. Someone gave me a treadmill and I walked/jogged on it today and I feel great. New years resolutions are wonderful!!!
Jeff is doing really well in school and is exceeding in Math. He loves to read now and is still a great help around the house. Our next door neighbor has a son his age and they have become great friends. They also have a son Aspen's age and a daughter a little older than Miri. They have been wonderful neighbors and we are so happy to be here. Aspen is loving to read right now too. She sleeps with a book under her pillow and sometimes we have to tell her to turn off the lights and go to bed because she's staying up too late reading. I love it!!!
Gabe is reading too and although he doesn't love it he does it because he can't watch a movie until he reads his book and practices his writing. The kids are really learning to be independent. They walk to school and church and even friends houses ...sometimes.
Miri is now three and just a little before turning three She declared in a conversation that she is a big girl, when I replied calling her a big little girl she responded with "No I am not little I am Huge, huge huge" We got a good laugh at this. Today she didn't want to carry something because it was too heavy so she said "I'm just little Mom." She is such a hoot and we love to watch her personality come out more and more as she learns more words and expressions.
So that's the Bountiful Sorenson Family...Hope to update things again soon.Later