Life is Beautiful

I suppose sometimes it takes a little convincing for me to see the beauty of life. I have a wonderful husband and children so I kick myself when I feel down and overwhelmed with the tedious task of housekeeper and overwhelming nature of parenting. When I can dedicate my efforts to just one of these elements I walk away feeling moderately successful. However it's the combination that baffles me and I feel time, life slipping away. I personally find housecleaning easier than parenting, because I can see the end result unlike parenting when the end result might not come for many years. As a result I find I focus on the clean house way too much and my kids of course are getting older and I'm missing their growth because my focus is on the dirty floor or misplaced toys.

I came to this discover again recently and I finally decided to do something concrete about it. I choose to start parent dates and weekly family activities independent of FHE. I've talked about it for years but never implemented it. February was my first go at it and I had a wonderful time. Aspen and I attended a gymnastics meet at the UofU. Miri went with Joe and I to McDonald's while the kids were at a primary activity and our car was getting fixed. Then Jeffery and I went to see the "The Tale of Desperado" at the Dollar Theater. Last but not least Gabe and I went to a safety convention at the South Town expo center today. I am loving getting to know my kids away from my other job of housecleaning and on a one on one level. It felt so good and I could just listen and watch them alone and eat up the wonderfulness of their individual person.
The kids seem to be liking it too. Today Jeff was talking to Grandma Coralie in the car about it and said such an eight year old thing. He explained that we were doing dates with mom and then went on to say something like this, "Not the huggy kissy kind of dates but the ones where you go and have fun and do something like a movie" I was laughing so hard inside. Wow they truly do grow up fast.
Life is beautiful.
Julia

January 30th
Today I was practicing spelling words in the car I first started with tree. I said Gabriel what letter do you think tree starts with. Aspen shouted out c-h....I reminded her that she was not Gabriel and Gabriel proceeded to answer with "t" then we sounded out the whole word. Aspen wanted a turn and followed with T-r-e-e, but then replied " that doesn't make sense."

I then tried to understand where she was coming from by asking a series of questions. She went on to explain that you don't say it tree you say it chee. I was busting up laughing inside, but kept calm and explained to her that no it was defiantly tree. She became very defiant and eventually fell into a complete breakdown.

After much crying and complaining she finally accepted that Mom probably new how to spell tree and then pointed her misery at me by blamed me for not teaching her sooner. She said she wasn't going to say it "Tree" anyway. With a hidden smile I told her she didn't have to and that she can talk how ever she wanted to. I stayed calm and actually had a pretty good parenting moment. She couldn't get calm so when we got to the parking lot of the grocery story I told her I was only taking respectful kids inside the store with me and how she was acting was not respectful. I gave her about a minute to try to calm down but she was too far gone. I calmly turned back on the car and we started to head home.

Gabriel was a great little brother he kept using phrases of encouragement like " come on Aspen stop crying so we can go in the store please. He didn't freak out when we left either. Miri was asleep but woke up from all the screaming and crying. Aspen then began a rampage of how it was everyone else's fault that she was not calming down. I at this point had informed her that I was not going to listen to her until she had calmed down.

Occasionally I would as calmly as I could say to her Aspen I hear you but I'm not listening. I share this with you because her last blame was so funny. She said I won't calm down until Miri holds my hand, Miri who seamed really uncomfortable by Aspen's screaming was pulling her hands back and looking with confusion at Aspen and her rampage. Aspen finally started to use a calm voice and I suggested she ask Miri to hold her hand in a sweet princess voice. She then argued that that would not work. So I turned around and said very sweetly "Miri would you hold my hand please." I think Miri may have only understood part of what I said because she responded by reaching over and touching Aspen's hand. Aspen calmed down and we made it home. Wow what a drive.